He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
