so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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