It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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