you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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