craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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