and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
