My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
