I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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