I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
