So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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