Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
