the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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