what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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