Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have tasted many bathrooms
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
