the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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