i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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