dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
