Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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