Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize