Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
