he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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