I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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