Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
