I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
the liver wants what the liver wants
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
