thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
