do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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