this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
