what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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