just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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