Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
