How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The dick lei will go down in squad history
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
