not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
