Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
