I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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