Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
