Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
