I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
