Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
