He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
