Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
