Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
