oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
