Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize