Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
