margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
