i permit you to call me
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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