Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize