I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
