Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
