my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wish you could order shots online.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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