this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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