the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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