If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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