Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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