i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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