i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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