Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it was like eating out sand paper
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
