So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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