The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
