She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize